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EULOGY:
DORINE DIEHL WILLIAMS Hello
Everyone. Thank you all so much for
being here today to honor our mother and grandmother.
These past weeks I’ve been very immersed in all things Mother and it’s
been just wonderful. Of course all
the pictures, the autobiography she wrote in 1988 at age 70, the interview done
three years ago for her 90th birthday, and then many of her own many
writings she’d done for writing classes and other things over the years.
It’s really been a trip. In all
these writings, and of course my own memories, there are certain constants that
are apparent: her Regard for Education, her Love of Music, and that she Loved a
Good Time.
Eventually I’ll get past the sense of wanting to pick up the phone and call my
mother, but I’m not there yet. I
still miss her a lot.
But there’s such a sense of privilege and gratitude for having had her as
my mother. She taught me so very
much, somewhat with words, but more by actions.
With her words I heard a lifetime of admonitions to use good grammar,
write thank you notes, and …just….relax.
Through her actions she modeled all of that, also that doing service is
important [she volunteered at every stage of her life], to be nice and get along
with people, and most of all – be happy and enjoy life.
Good lessons, all. LEGACY =
VALUES Our
mother’s legacy was not in “things.”
There are very few family heirlooms handed down, partly because most were
destroyed in a house fire when she was about 12, but largely because “things”
just weren’t that important to her.
She was anything but materialistic, in fact that value is one she has handed
down some directions. Yet she
wasn’t judgmental of those who did value clothes or jewelry or even books that
she loved so much. Those “things”
just weren’t important to her. Her real
legacy was her values, particularly her regard for education, her love of music,
and her lifestyle of happiness and fun.
HIGH
REGARD FOR EDUCATION
Education was very important to our mother, a value handed down from her
parents. Her father, Christian
Diehl, a doctor, was the only one of 5 siblings to have a college education, and
her mother, Jennie, who lived with us growing up, also graduated from college in
1904, something very unusual for women at that time.
She was Valedictorian in high school, and her own college degree was from the
Two of her paying jobs were teaching English and Geography and then
working in a bookstore.
She and Ed attended over 20 Elderhostels, and she and I attended one
together in LOVED Related
to but not the same as Mother’s regard for formal education is her love of
reading. She was a voracious reader
of books, mostly fiction, but many biographies too.
It was a huge part of who she was.
All three of her children, Jack, Jean and I, are big readers too.
When it became difficult for her to read in her last years she and I read
books together on the phone, my reading to her while she followed along in the
same book. We both enjoyed it a lot
and read three books that way.
Interestingly the first one was “The Reader” about someone reading books to
another person. IMPORTANCE
OF GOOD GRAMMAR That
formal obituary just read by Jack was mostly written by me while in the car with
Hannah the day after Mother died.
It says that she was “happy, fun-loving, socially active and an avid bridge
player.” We tried to work in her
being a grammar snob because it was such a big part of who she was, but we
couldn’t quite find the right words.
“Grammar Nazi” seemed a bit strong.
Hannah gave her a t-shirt once that said “I’m the grammarian about whom
your mother warned you.” It fit.
Easy going as she was, make no mistake, good grammar was a serious matter! WRITING
Education – reading – grammar. So
it follows: she also loved to write.
In all the years we were growing up she wrote extensive messages on each
Christmas card sent out. By hand,
not a mass-produced one like I do these days.
When I was in college we sent many letters back and forth.
Over the years there were many occasions for her to write, and when she
was at a loss of what or how to write she sometimes would write in verse as she
did here in this piece about a assignment for her writing class when she lived
in
[verses read by Jean] There
are will be a number of her writings on display at the luncheon after the
service. In her
own quiet way our mother was literacy personified. LOVE OF
MUSIC Music
was a big part of our mother’s life.
She could play any piece on the piano by ear, tho only in the key of C,
and all three of us were very very active in the music scene in high school.
Jack, of course, took his music the farthest becoming a professional
musician in
She came by her love of music honestly.
Her father would sneak out of the house during the night to play his
violin at barn dances, and her mother worked her way through college teaching
piano lessons. In
When we proceed from here to the gravesite we are going to leave her
there with some music by singing Taps.
There will be some cards with the words if you would like one. LOVED A
GOOD TIME Besides
our mother’s legacy to all of us of her regard for education and love of music,
perhaps her greatest legacy is her love of a good time.
Her advice to “keep it light” applied to most situations, and she made friends
easily. She loved games.
Word games, of course, scrabble, crossword puzzles.
And card games, particularly bridge.
She was an ace bridge-player.
GAMES When
Another of her favorite games
was Charades. There were many
charades parties in GAMBLING One
source of enjoyment not mentioned in the published obituary was just how much
she loved gambling. On her own games, that is.
And not for high stakes, by any means, but just to enhance any
competition, “to make it interesting.” In fact, any card game; bridge, cribbage,
gin rummy, whatever; without “a little something on the side” was hardly worth
her time. Jack can attest to that as her frequently opponent in cribbage and gin
rummy during these last years in
In re-reading her autobiography I was reminded of the story that the day
she and my father bought her wedding ring, when it turned out to cost less than
they had expected, they bet the remaining amount on a horse with a romantic
sounding name.
When we were growing up our parents used to play cribbage for chores.
I have such a clear picture of them playing at the dining room table.
Apparently, however, they mostly played for her chores, to hear our dad
tell it. POLITICS Our
mother was very interested in politics and current affairs.
Back in 8th grade she won an award for current events and was
quite proud of it. She always
watched every minute of both political conventions, and although she was a
sincere, responsible citizen who tried to be current on the issues and always
voted, I really think her interest in politics was yet another interesting
competition with winners and losers, and certainly considerable stakes. THE
CONSTANTS In the
five different locations our mother lived in her 93 years, essentially
representing five different stages of her life, the same constants of her life
are apparent: Education, Music, Fun. -The
early years in southern -Then
the 9 years in -Then 27
years in
-Followed by another 27 years in Longboat Key, -And
nearly 10 years in
While she had a wonderful time in These
are some of my memories and comments
of my mother, and you will be able to see and read more at the luncheon where
books and photos will be displayed, including some of her writings.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ At
Gravesite: -prayer
by
TAPS Day is Done. From the lake, All is well.
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